[HAWNSGIST] Man Demands Custody Of Wife's Boobs In Divorce Arrangement, Gives Up His House In Exchange

Local man Simon Williams has applied for custody of his wife’s Boobs as part of his divorce settlement according to online reports. Describing the Boobs as being of ‘great sentimental value’ in his submission, Simon said he’d happily give up any claim over the house for full custody. Alternatively, his wife can have the car in return for access at weekends.

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“Those Bosom s have been with me through thick and thin; a rock in times of needs and a pillow in times of comfort. My quality of life will decline substantially if I lose custody.”
“It’s actually ironic,” he told us. “Considering one of the reasons I’m getting divorced at all is because I said I’d like her Bosom s custody.”
However, Simon’s soon to be ex-wife has angrily rejected the request, saying that his failure to grant her exclusive possession of his ‘bits and bobs’ during their marriage undermined his position. Lawyers in the case have suggested that they hold the Bosom s until the situation is resolved.