10 THINGS YOU DO WRONG WHEN KISSING

Lots of folks keep tripping up when it gets to cases like this. Some people don’t even kiss because they don’t know how while others don’t get kissed because they are terrible kissers.
You’re probably doing it wrong but not to worry. I have a list of the things you’re probably doing wrong and how to fix it.
#1 Staring
OMG. This takes the gold for the list of creepy things

people do while kissing. No one wants to kiss you and in the process open their eyes to find you staring at them. The best kisses usually happen with the eyes closed. I’d run away from you if you stare at me while we kiss. It’s unnerving.
#2 Sounds
I prefer to call this ‘soundtrack’ *grins* but I’m supposed to write in ‘proper’ English so…….
Anyways, Sounds. You might wonder ‘what hsa sounds got to do with kissing rules’. My definition of kissing sounds is divided into two. The moans and the extremely irritating, sloppy and disgusting sounds. Moans are pretty hot and sexy but when you start making sounds like a koala in heat your partner begins to wonder if you need medical attention and begins to pull back. As for the second part – EISDS – Extremely Irritating Sloppy Disgusting Sounds;  I think we all agree it’s pretty much a no no when it comes to ‘awesome’ kissing. God! That sh*t is disgusting *shuddering*. So moan well and avoid the sloppy sounds please, you’re not licking ice-cream.
#3 Kissing style
Someone is asking in a sarcastic voice ‘so there’s a kissing style?’ Of course bro!
It’s really important for you to learn what style of kissing suits you to better enjoy the act with your partner. Just because Diego Al perez in Shadows (It’s a Philippine movie; I’m a sucker for those) can kiss the living daylights out of Isabella doesn’t mean you should copy his style. Slow and steady wins the race. You’ll see some people kissing and moving their head left and right like it’s a competition and before you know it the girl has a kink in her neck and refuses to kiss next time. Make it hot, make it sizzling and find your style
#4 Subtle
Let your kissing be subtle and smooth; you don’t have to open your mouth wide as if your partner wants to take swimming lessons in your throat. That’s gross and painful to watch. And painful for the receiver too. Do not swallow the girl!
#5 Tongue
Do not, and I repeat do not go for the tongue immediately you start kissing. It’s unpleasant and gross. Tongues generally meet when kissing but shoving your tongue into someone’s throat at first contact?  That’s just plain wrong. It could make it difficult to breathe and lead to choking. Bi**h please!  Don’t give him a tonsillectomy.
#6 Relax
Yeah, relax bro. A girl can usually spot a nervous kisser from 5 steps away. Literarily. Nerves get in the way of things and sometimes make it awkward. You trying to kiss bae and you’re so nervous you hit your head on the poor girls nose. BAM! MOOD RUINED. So just chill and take your time. Girls love that
#7 Breath
I know you’ve been waiting for me to mention this. It goes without saying that you should always make sure you’ve got fresh breath before kissing. A smelly mouth is one of the worst turnoffs. As you guys are going at it, he or she is turning the other way, the nose frantically searching for fresh air. Don’t kiss her 10 minutes after pizza, yeah, odor sets in that fast especially since its pizza. I’m also a pizza fan but there are some places pizza can stab you in the the back( figuratively of course, a pizza brandishing a knife= Armageddon)
#8 Never Ask someone if you’re a good kisser
This is an uncomfortable position to put anyone in. Even if you ARE a good kisser. It basically screams I AM INSECURE to your partner. And if you’re not a good kisser, the person wonders how to let you down gently or just lies to your face that you’re good. You should know if you did well in every kissing session by gauging the reaction on your partners face or general attitude. Don’t fish for complements!
#9 Use your hands appropriately
It doesn’t feel good when you kiss someone that just stands there like a log of wood. When kissing, contact is as important as the kiss itself. Touching her hair, rubbing his arms; all these makes kissing more enjoyable. This doesn’t mean you should just grab her boobs and start squeezing like your life depends on it. That’ll just earn you a slap. Just go with the flow steadily, no rushing. And sometimes, she’ll take your hand and put on her boobs if that’s what she wants.
#10 Thou shalt not bathe me in saliva
This is actually funny in a very unfunny way. I asked one of my friends from high school how to kiss (not that I don’t know how to kiss coz I most certainly do! Just did it for kicks) and he told me I’d gather spit in my mouth, then” ptueh!” spit into the girls mouth. That’s kissing. He said it with a completely honest look on his face which changed to bewilderment when he saw me rolling around on the floor cracking up like there’s no tomorrow. Lots of people make this mistake. Kissing is NOT AN EXCHANGE OF SALIVA. Too much saliva is too much. Naturally when kissing, saliva is exchanged but not to the extent that your partner starts choking from copious amount of the spittle you’re downloading into his/ her throat. Save a life today and keep your excess saliva to yourself!